Thursday, July 26, 2007

Looking Forward to Tomorrow Evening

I'm extremely excited about tomorrow evening. Heather and Kirk, who I work with at the Circuit Court Clerk's Office, are going with me to Sweet Caroline's bar tomorrow night. There's going to be a live band playing all night. This will be the first time I've gone to any bar in Winchester. I went bar-hopping in Spain, which was the most fun I've ever had, so I'm hoping tomorrow night will be at least half as good as those nights. I'm sure the bars in Madrid and Alicante will be far more exciting than the bars in my hometown, but I'm looking forward to it nonetheless.

I'm interested in dating Kirk. He is a really nice guy who has a very dry, yet funny, sense of humor. He's a few years older than me, which I kind of like. Kirk has more maturity than guys my age, which is one thing I look for in a guy. As far as how he looks, all I can say is that I'm currently watching "The Wonder Years" and just realized that Kirk somewhat resembles the actor that portrays Kevin's older brother. I literally laughed out loud when I saw the guy on T.V.

Kirk and I were supposed to be set up on a date while I was at home on Spring Break. Unfortunately our schedules just didn't match up, and we never ended up going out. So now Heather is trying to set us up. Tomorrow night is supposed to help us get used to talking to each other outside of work. Heather has told me that Kirk is just as interested in me as I am in him; I hope she's right. I'd love to go back to school with a boyfriend, but not just for the sake of having one.

Friday, July 6, 2007

A Somber Day

I stayed home from work today, after leaving work early yesterday, due to a cold-like illness. I slept little last night because I found it difficult to breathe through my nose. After waking this morning, I worked on my photography and organizing my pictures for a couple of hours. Then it was time for me to get myself dressed and presentable in order to attend the funeral.

I attended the funeral for my preacher's wife. She's the first person that I've both been close to and cared about to die. The church was packed, and some people were left to stand in another room (like myself) or were forced to sit outside in seats facing the church. Throughout the service tears fell from my eyes despite my best attempts to dam them behind my eyelids. Thinking about her death still causes me to tear up, but I try to take comfort knowing that she is in heaven where she will no longer feel the pain of cancer.

Tomorrow I hope to finish cleaning the two remaining algae-covered aquariums in my room. I also hope to be able to rest and continue working on organizing my photos.

I can't wait to get my Canon Digital Rebel XTi later this summer. I think that my photography will greatly improve with a more professional camera. I had a little difficulty deciding whether to go with the XT or the newer and improved XTi. I decided on the XTi for three reasons: it has 2 more megapixels than the 8 MP XT, it has a 2.5 inch screen compared to the XT's 1.8 inch screen, and I think I would regret not spending the extra $200 for the better camera. I want to get the Lowepro Slingshot AW 200 case/backpack in order to house my camera. I like this one because the design will allow me to access the camera without going through the trouble of removing the backpack first.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

A Typical Saturday

Today I didn't accomplish as much as I had hoped. I mowed the lawn and got some more of my Spain pictures tagged in Flickr. However, I didn't get my fishtanks cleaned like I had planned. I hope I'll be more successful accomplishing this goal tomorrow.

Tomorrow after church I think I might go into town and look for miniature plastic clothespins. I want to use them, in conjunction with thin fishing line, to hang my pictures on my dorm room wall this coming year. I also want to find Turkey Hill's Chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream. It is delicious and I haven't been able to find it in a very long time.

Tonight and in the coming weeks I hope to publish more blog posts from my time in Spain. I took notes on what I wanted to write about. Now I just have to try to remember the dates all of these events took place. Check the January 2007 tab for these posts.

Friday, June 29, 2007

A Long Friday

I'm so thankful it is Friday. Hopefully I'll be able to accomplish something this weekend.

I want to clean all 6 of my fishtanks. I've been home more than a month and have yet to clean them. Fortunately the large amount of algae in them is giving off so much oxygen that the ammonia levels have yet to rise; in fact they are non-existent. I will feel accomplished if I can get this done tomorrow.

Today work crawled by. The morning went by relatively quickly and I was thankful for that, but the afternoon seemed to last forever. I thought 5 o'clock would never happen and I'd be trapped at work forever.

Today I saw my dad again because he came into the Clerk's Office in order to obtain a concealed weapons permit. It was weird and I was both nervous and anxious at the same time. I was glad to see him though. I don't want him to think that I hate him or have completely blocked him out of my life forever. He has to come back sometime because he was unable to get his fingerprints done today because the officer who does them had already left for the day.

My dad looked good. He was clean-shaven and his blue collar clothes were clean. He looked young as well. I think it'd be difficult for someone to guess that he's a recovering alcoholic (I hope), a smoker, and a diabetic.

My iPod is working again, which pleases me to no end as I don't have the money this week to buy a new one. The iPod said it was corrupted and wouldn't properly restore last week. I got extremely frustrated trying to go through all the steps in order to fix it. So tonight I decided I wanted to open it up to see all the components inside. I had difficulty doing this with a screwdriver and in frustration banged the screwdriver up against the sides of the iPod. To my surprise the iPod booted up properly. This prompted me to try once again to download all of my 3,057 songs back to the device. So far it is working splendidly well. At the current moment 2,500 songs have successfully been put on my iPod. I hope it continues to download and will work properly until I have the money to buy a new 5th generation video iPod.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

A Pleasant Day

Today went quite well, and I was pleasantly surprised by that.

My meeting with the professor went better than expected. He understood my point of view and said that I should be able to take an alternative class in order to fulfill that requirement for my major. I e-mailed the Economics professor who will help me find an alternative and hope to hear back from him tomorrow. After I hear back from him, I have to let the professors coordinating the trip know that I will no longer be traveling. I hope they aren't upset with me for waiting to tell them, but I had to talk with many people in order to make this decision and find an alternative.

My group's presentation on serial killer groupies went quite well. I wasn't as nervous as I usually am giving this presentation and I think it may be because I was in a group. The professor really liked our topic and said it was "ground-breaking." She wants to do a more in-depth research project on the subject and asked us if we wanted to work on it next spring. If I think I can handle doing that in addition to a senior seminar, I may just do it. Since my G.P.A. isn't the best, this could look really good to grad schools.

Tonight I apologized to a former friend for the argument we had two years ago. I told her that at that time I had depression and that was causing my behavior to be what it was. Amanda was quite understanding and we talked for a while. I think we both feel better now..

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

A Crazy Day with an Even Crazier Tomorrow

Today went quite well.

I gave Dr. S, my counselor here at R-MC, a letter of appreciation and an 11in. x 14in. print of my profile picture on this blog (the purple flower). The following is my letter to her:

Dr. S,
I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for everything that you’ve done in order to help me. Without your understanding and assistance, I would not be where I am today. It is difficult to know where I would be without your intervention, but I know I’d probably be in a worse place than that which I am in now. I know that the medication has helped in some respects, and I would not be on it if you hadn’t sent me home, even though I was against doing so. Without the help that I have received, both from you and medication, I think I would have committed suicide many months ago.

When I told you that I looked forward to my appointments with you, I meant it. Tuesdays have become my favorite day of the week, only because I get to see you. You are very easy to talk to and I feel like I can tell you things that I cannot tell other people.

I apologize for the times when I have been difficult and uncooperative; you deserved better. I know that I’m not the easiest person to deal with, so your patience with me has been wonderful.

In writing this, I wanted you to know that you are appreciated and you have heavily impacted my life for the better.

With Much Appreciation,

Emily

She said that she really appreciated the letter and she loved the picture; she thought it was beautiful, although she said she couldn't hang it in her office because my name was on it and it would be a violation of privacy. She said that she will think about where to put it. Dr. S also told me that she's enjoyed working with me this past year. I laughed, because I know I've not been the easiest person to deal with. She said that she liked to see people get better and improve and she thought that I had done just that. I think I'm going to cry next Tuesday when I meet with her for the last time this semester. I'll miss talking with her over the summer.

My group is still working on our project about serial killer groupies. I feel as if we haven't done a lot of research and we've just thrown it together. I don't think it is going to be that great, and I'm quite nervous about presenting in front of the class tomorrow. I'm going to try to purposely lose my voice in order to try to weasel my way out of talking. After the presentation tomorrow, our group has to present at Research Day on Friday. I'm so scared of presenting in front of a large group. I'm terrified that I'm going to have a panic attack and pass out.

I also have to meet with the head of the International Studies Department tomorrow. He is really intimidating. I have to discuss me not going on a January-Term travel course next year that I need to graduate. I'm terrified that my negative experiences in Spain, even though they were few, will be repeated. If that should happen, I'll be sent home from school indefinitely and I'll not graduate from this college.

I hope, and pray, that tomorrow will go well.

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

An Overall Okay Day

Today has been an overall okay day.

My first class, Eastern World Religions, was really boring. We are learning about the life and teachings of Jesus Christ, which I have heard about a hundred times before. I was attempting to study for the Macroeconomics quiz I was to take in my next class in order to pass the time. I felt guilty for doing so, because I know the professor (the Chaplain) knew what I was doing. I made it through the class and proceeded to Macroeconomics.

When I got there, a different professor was in the room. She informed us that our professor would not be in class today, and therefore class was canceled. To my surprise, she then told us that there would be no class on Thursday. Apparently the professor's father passed away, leading to his week-long absence. This made me quite happy, as I would only have to endure one class today and Thursday.

Early this afternoon I had my weekly appointment at the counseling center with Dr. S. Today went quite well. It lasted longer than usual, which I think means she enjoyed the conversation we were having, and appreciated my honesty. I think my depression has lifted significantly. I feel like an entirely different person almost, even though I'm still quiet and reserved in public and in class. I don't know who I am anymore; I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

At work I spent two and a half hours surfing the net instead of doing what I was supposed to be doing. The task I was to be working on is mind-numbing, and boring. I hope that my boss doesn't find out that I lied. Then she would never trust me again.

Tonight I'm supposed to go on a walk with some of my friends to enjoy the nice spring weather. I think I might ride my bike while they walk. I need to get some use out of it; after all I did buy a bicycle rack and drove it two and a half hours, and thus far it has been collecting dust.

It looks like I won't have a heavy homework load until Thursday night when I have to write a paper due on Friday. Hopefully I can do some fun things in the free evenings I have.

Monday, March 26, 2007

For Lack of Time to Post Anything Better....

I really want to update this more often, and I will try to do that. Lately, however, organizing my photographs has been given priority, so I will post this for the moment.

You Are New York

Cosmopolitan and sophisticated, you enjoy the newest in food, art, and culture.
You also appreciate a good amount of grit - and very little shocks you.
You're competitive, driven, and very likely to succeed.

Famous people from New York: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Tupac Shakur, Woody Allen

Sunday, March 18, 2007

A Long, Short Day

In the wee hours of this morning, at 3:30 a.m., I got a call from one of my friends. I wasn't upset at all because I was wide awake and up organizing my photos.

She had a fight with her roommate and didn't want to sleep in the same room with her and asked if she could sleep in my room. I said I didn't mind and she came over. We talked until 4:30 a.m., and then turned the lights off in order to sleep. I could not get to sleep. My friend snored really loud, keeping me awake until 6 a.m. when I became too exhausted to be bothered by noise.

I woke up at 10 a.m. to my alarm going off. I was planning to go back to the Hollywood Cemetery and take some more pictures. I decided to go back to sleep, because my friend was still asleep on my floor. I woke up again at 1:30 p.m. with my friend gone. I couldn't believe I had slept so long.

I got up and got ready and headed to the cemetery a lot later than I had planned on. Regardless, I made it to the cemetery around 3:40 p.m. I found a place to park and walked for a good while, finding a few good subjects to photograph. I then got back in my car and went looking for the tall pyramid structure that is a memorial to the Confederate soldiers. I wasn't successful and decided to leave. I was a little disappointed that I didn't get more photos.

When I got back to school, I told another one of my friends, Sara, about my adventure. She told me that she loved going to that cemetery, and to let her know when I was going back, because she wanted to come. This made me really happy, as I hardly ever have people that want to go out and take pictures.

Sunday, March 4, 2007

Ended Dreams?

I have come to the realization that one possible direction I was considering taking after college is no longer an option.

I've had this crazy dream that one day I would attend law school and eventually become a judge in a juvenile and domestic relations court. At this point, that will never happen.

My current GPA is a 3.27. Last semester it was a 3.54 and I got a Phi Beta Kappa certificate. Currently, I'm no longer in the Honors Program here at school because of my GPA, and I'm terrified that I'm going to lose my scholarship and no longer be able to afford to attend here. I will never be able to raise my GPA above a 3.5 again; in order to do so I'd have to make a 4.0 every semester I have left. My low GPA and the fact that I'm not involved with anything on campus means that I will never get into any law school that is worth anything.

Realizing this hurts. Failing one history class has ruined a dream for me. I only failed that class because I slept through the final exam; I had a B average in the class. Depression and anxiety have cost me so much, and I guess they will continue to ruin my dreams and keep me from living up to my potential.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Zooomr Photo Sharing

A Perfect DaisyA Perfect Daisy Hosted on Zooomr

Like many people, I came across Yahoo's Flickr photo sharing service. After signing up for a free account and posting a few pictures, I realized that I was already almost to my monthly upload limit. I decided that I would go ahead and purchase a Flickr Pro account in order to gain the ability to post more pictures. I used Flickr for a little while, and wanted to upload all of my pictures there and join groups, but I soon became bored with it. As of now I only go to my Flickr account in order to view the photos of my contacts there. I found the Zooomr photo sharing (but it does a whole lot more) site through one of my Flickr contacts, Thomas Hawk. After viewing his Zooomr site and comparing it to the Flickr site, I decided to sign up for Zooomr which was free. I must say that I love Zooomr and what it has to offer photographers, both novice and professional alike. The creator and developer of Zooomr, Kristopher Tate, is readily available to answer questions and comment on the ideas put forth by users. You will NOT find that type of interaction and customer service with Yahoo's Flickr.

Check out my Zooomr site at: http://beta.zooomr.com/people/emilyelizabeth

After that, make sure you sign up for a FREE Zooomr account and test the product, you will not regret it. The new, and much anticipated, version of Zooomr is debuting in March, giving you yet another incentive to join this wonderful community of photographers.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

My Birthday

Today is my 21st birthday.

I've spent the day relaxing and doing whatever I've wanted.

I woke up extremely early, at 6:30 a.m., because I had yet again fallen asleep downstairs in my favorite chair. I watched some of my favorite television shows on BBC America and worked on my laptop trying to organize a lot of my files. I also watched the movie "Cake" on the Lifetime channel, which starred Heather Graham and Taye Diggs. I was pleasantly surprised because it was funny and it kept my attention, unlike many chick flicks.

I'm currently watching "Crime & Punishment" on MSNBC, which is basically real life "Law & Order," while waiting for dinner to be ready. It is a really interesting series. If you like crime dramas such as "Law & Order" and "Justice" I highly recommend this series. I will admit that it is shocking and saddening that these crimes occurred, and it is even more difficult to see pictures of victims and to hear how they departed this earth.

I have received wonderful gifts for my birthday. My mom bought me the prescription sunglasses I've wanted and needed for a long while. Today I received a package from my grandmother and aunt in Pennsylvania. I received $170 from them which I desperately need because I am broke after returning from Spain. They also gave me a beautiful pearl necklace.

I won't get to celebrate too much, if at all, because I have to do laundry and pack so I can return to school tomorrow. Perhaps I'll save the celebration for another weekend, when things aren't so busy.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Another Day of Class; The Return of Wireless; Conversation With a Professor; Interesting Pizza

Today started off like any other day, except I stayed in bed a little longer than normal, and finally got up around 7 a.m. I afforded myself that luxury because today was laundry day, and with the washer running I knew there would be no hot water for my morning shower. I really wish I could have gotten a shower. I absolutely hate to leave the house, whether here or at home, without showering first. As of now, I still haven't taken one because the washer has been running non-stop all day; I think I'll just wait until tomorrow. The European washers are much smaller than the American ones, so trying to wash a week's worth of clothes for four people takes many loads of laundry to complete.

We have wireless internet again! I thought I would die without it. I know that's horrible to say, but it is true. Pepita buys the internet and router just for the students who stay with her; she doesn't have a computer of her own. I hope we have the net for the rest of the month, it is so much easier to communicate with it.

I had another conversation with Prof. Bd tonight. We met at a small cafe to discuss things. I told her that I was considering going home because of stress and feeling fatigued all of the time. She said that since our last conversation, she had been thinking and thought that it would be in my best interest to return home. I told her that I didn't necessarily want to return to the U.S. because I love Spain. It isn't that I'm homesick or physically ill, I just feel mentally and emotionally horrible a lot. I told her how much class was stressing me out. Today I made myself physically ill with the thought of going to class. I had to leave the class halfway through because I thought I was going to be sick, and I felt that a panic attack was forthcoming. She said that she was sure that accommodations could be made that would ease my stress. Prof. Bd was very understanding and compassionate. She was going to discuss things with my professor to see what could be done.

We had pizza today, and it was very interesting to say the least. Pepita made them homemade, and of course there was the usual sauce and cheese put on top; and because we were in Spain, a pork product was necessary as well. I'm not sure whether it was ham, bacon, or sausage, but it tasted fine. The one thing I could not stand about this pizza was the egg. Yes, I said EGG. Pepita cracked a raw egg on top of the unbaked pizza and put the entire thing in the microwave. It was not tasty, and the egg was runny because it wasn't cooked all the way. If it wasn't for the egg, the pizza would've been great. I hope next time she doesn't put the egg on.

Thursday, January 4, 2007

The Long Journey to Madrid

Madrid is wonderful. There is so much to do and see. The city is always alive and energetic. We are staying at the Hotel Principe Pio, which is quite near the royal palace or Palacio Real.

I was quite nervous when we got to the airport in Richmond as I had never flown before. I also didn't know what to expect or how to navigate through an airport and deal with security. When I arrived I was told that all of the class except for me, another student, and our professor had caught an earlier flight to Philly. This news made me even more anxious and unsure about the forthcoming trip. I didn't even know the other student (Easton) and had very brief and limited contact with the professor (Prof. MJB). 

I then wheeled my bags all the way down to the terminal; stupid me. I then asked where I needed to go in order to check my bags and was told, "At the ticket counter," which was all the way back across the airport. I felt so dumb and stupid; I hated myself.

So I then trudged all the way back and checked my bags. My big one was 5.5 lbs. under the 50 lb. weight limit. I was relieved because I didn't want to pay the $80 charge for the extra weight. I was thankful that I had decided to divide my clothes between two suitcases. Prof. MJB, Easton, and I went to the gate to wait. During this time we all got to know each other better and I was feeling less anxious, although I was still nervous about flying for the first time.

We were to leave Richmond International Airport at 5:50 p.m. and were to board the Philadelphia to Madrid flight at 7:05 p.m. When we were alerted that our Richmond flight was delayed by a half hour, Prof. MJB became stressed. She called the other students who had already arrived at Philly to tell the airline (U.S. Airways) that they were not to allow the plane to leave. 

The flight from RIA to Philly was AWESOME! I loved it more than I ever thought I would. It was so beautiful to see the cities between Richmond and Philadelphia lit up at night out my window. Easton and I were seated next to each other and we became fast friends.

The flight went smoothly, and after we deplaned the three of us had to haul ass all the way across the huge Philly airport. The airport is wonderful, and very clean and well kept. The stores it contained were amazing, and it was similar to a shopping mall. They even had a Harley Davidson store where you could buy motorcycles (in an airport?!).

We eventually made it to our gate and reunited with the rest of our group. Then Easton and I went for some food because we were famished.

It wasn't long before we boarded the international flight to Madrid. The plane was huge. There was the window, then two seats, then an aisle, then four seats, then an aisle, followed by two more seats. I was really excited to have another window seat. The plane was a little cramped, but it wasn't uncomfortable.

I was seated next to Franny, who I had briefly met before. We both began to read to occupy the time waiting for take off. When it did, the view was amazing and the 8 hour flight commenced. We were served dinner, which was okay, but not the greatest (I know "What do you expect? It's plane food!"). I had the pasta, and it was quite good except the sauce was spicy hot. I ate the cheese, bread and crackers, and decided that was enough. The movie that was being shown was "Invincible." It looked quite good, but I decided not to watch it because I was busy reading, sleeping and listening to my iPod in order to occupy myself.

I was awake when the sun began to shine through the clouds in the atmosphere. It was one of the most amazing sights IĆ¢€™ve seen in my lifetime. Seeing clouds at their level, and even being above them, was incredible. When we were closer to the ground, I could see the Spanish mountains and the windmills that were perched atop the ridges. The ground looked like a patch-work quilt of greens and browns with an occasional dark river winding in between. A few towns could be seen scattered about the land with buildings of white and brown.

When we arrived at Barajas Airport in Madrid, I found it quite sketchy. The day before I had learned that a parking garage there had be bombed by ETA and two Ecuadorian men were killed while sleeping in their car. I never actually saw where the parking garage used to exist, and everything appeared normal. I was very careful about watching my bags in the airport because Barajas has a reputation of luggage being stolen.

After all of our luggage had been claimed, we went to meet our tour guide. When we came face to face, she was a twenty-something Spanish woman named Inma. She dressed very stylish, yet bohemian at the same time.

We proceeded to drive to our hotel, the Hotel Principe Pio. Here waiting outside was another professor, Fernando. The hotel is quite close to the royal palace and gardens in a park-like setting are directly across the street. My roommates are Meghan and Diana, who I know the best out of everyone in our group. The room is small and contains three twin beds and a bathroom. Out our window we can see apartments, clotheslines and cats on top of roofs. There is also a large Middle-Eastern-looking dome which is very colorful.

I went to lunch at a Turkish restaurant chain with the majority of our group. I found the food to be quite unappetizing, and couldn't finish it.

After that I took a nice two and a half hour nap to recover slightly. We were supposed to visit a tourist site this afternoon (the Palacio Real, the Museo Thyssen-Bornemisza, or the Museo Reina Sofia), but we voted to have the entire afternoon to ourselves. 

I think Meghan, Diana, and I are going to go sightseeing with others from our group. I hope we have a great time and don't get lost. 

Tuesday, January 2, 2007

Did You See That?!; Dreading Today; Hoping for a Shipping Miracle

Firstly, I just finished watching the Fiesta Bowl between the Oklahoma Sooners and the Boise State Broncos. It was an awesome game. Oklahoma was very heavily favored over Boise. At first Boise was trampling the Sooners, and I pretty much thought they were going to run all over Oklahoma. The Sooners did manage to score many unanswered points to tie the game. With only a minute or so left, the Sooners went ahead by seven, but Boise came back to tie it with a few seconds left on the clock. The game then went into overtime. The Sooners struck first with a running touchdown by Adrian Peterson and made the point after. But then the Broncos came back and scored. They wanted to win the game and be "Cinderella", so they went for the two point conversion. An awesome play fake was called and the runner went in untouched. The final score was: 43-42. If you didn't see it, you should definitely download it from the iTunes Music Store, or watch for it on ESPNU.

On t.v. when they were interviewing a player, he proposed to his girlfriend, the head cheerleader, and she accepted. It was touching, as much as it could be, but the announcer interviewing the player completely ruined the surprise. He announced something to the effect of, "And now we have a proposal..." I know that announcers are paid to speak, but they should know when to keep their mouths shut.

Today I have a lot to accomplish, and it is going to be extremely stressful. I have to wash all of my clothes and pack what I'm not planning to wear today/tomorrow. I have to paint my toenails; Yes, this is important as I bought a new pair of Reef flip flops to wear in Spain. I have to clean my big aquarium, and put some more water in it. Next, I have to set up three 2.5 gallon aquariums for my bettas. I even splurged and bought each one a heater so they can stay nice and warm while I'm away. I think they are a little chilly now and we have yet to see any really cold weather, so I think they'd turn into fishsticles (fish+icicles) if the temperature dropped. I really care about my bettas, but I have to wash out/disinfect three aquariums before I can put water in them, which has made me procrastinate until the last day I am home. I also have to buy a converter at Radio Shack so I can use my battery charger and cell phone charger overseas. I have to buy the rest of the toiletries that I've forgot to purchase. There are other things that I must do today, but I can't think of them at the moment. Hopefully I'll get all of them accomplished with enough time left over for me to relax tonight.

I also could not find a step-down transformer to use with my laptop in Spain. Therefore I had to order a European Dell powercord. The company I ordered from was closed on Monday, so the order should be filled today. I paid $30.00 in shipping charges to get it mid-morning the next day (Wednesday). I'm a little concerned because my mom wants to leave for Richmond by 11 a.m. at the latest. The powercord has got to get here before I leave. It would be so much easier to find things that would work with my laptop overseas if I didn't have a Dell.