Looking Forward to Tomorrow Evening

I'm extremely excited about tomorrow evening. Heather and Kirk, who I work with at the Circuit Court Clerk's Office, are going with me to Sweet Caroline's bar tomorrow night. There's going to be a live band playing all night. This will be the first time I've gone to any bar in Winchester. I went bar-hopping in Spain, which was the most fun I've ever had, so I'm hoping tomorrow night will be at least half as good as those nights. I'm sure the bars in Madrid and Alicante will be far more exciting than the bars in my hometown, but I'm looking forward to it nonetheless.

I'm interested in dating Kirk. He is a really nice guy who has a very dry, yet funny, sense of humor. He's a few years older than me, which I kind of like. Kirk has more maturity than guys my age, which is one thing I look for in a guy. As far as how he looks, all I can say is that I'm currently watching "The Wonder Years" and just realized that Kirk somewhat resembles the actor that portrays Kevin's older brother. I literally laughed out loud when I saw the guy on T.V.

Kirk and I were supposed to be set up on a date while I was at home on Spring Break. Unfortunately our schedules just didn't match up, and we never ended up going out. So now Heather is trying to set us up. Tomorrow night is supposed to help us get used to talking to each other outside of work. Heather has told me that Kirk is just as interested in me as I am in him; I hope she's right. I'd love to go back to school with a boyfriend, but not just for the sake of having one.

A Somber Day

I stayed home from work today, after leaving work early yesterday, due to a cold-like illness. I slept little last night because I found it difficult to breathe through my nose. After waking this morning, I worked on my photography and organizing my pictures for a couple of hours. Then it was time for me to get myself dressed and presentable in order to attend the funeral.

I attended the funeral for my preacher's wife. She's the first person that I've both been close to and cared about to die. The church was packed, and some people were left to stand in another room (like myself) or were forced to sit outside in seats facing the church. Throughout the service tears fell from my eyes despite my best attempts to dam them behind my eyelids. Thinking about her death still causes me to tear up, but I try to take comfort knowing that she is in heaven where she will no longer feel the pain of cancer.

Tomorrow I hope to finish cleaning the two remaining algae-covered aquariums in my room. I also hope to be able to rest and continue working on organizing my photos.

I can't wait to get my Canon Digital Rebel XTi later this summer. I think that my photography will greatly improve with a more professional camera. I had a little difficulty deciding whether to go with the XT or the newer and improved XTi. I decided on the XTi for three reasons: it has 2 more megapixels than the 8 MP XT, it has a 2.5 inch screen compared to the XT's 1.8 inch screen, and I think I would regret not spending the extra $200 for the better camera. I want to get the Lowepro Slingshot AW 200 case/backpack in order to house my camera. I like this one because the design will allow me to access the camera without going through the trouble of removing the backpack first.

A Typical Saturday

Today I didn't accomplish as much as I had hoped. I mowed the lawn and got some more of my Spain pictures tagged in Flickr. However, I didn't get my fishtanks cleaned like I had planned. I hope I'll be more successful accomplishing this goal tomorrow.

Tomorrow after church I think I might go into town and look for miniature plastic clothespins. I want to use them, in conjunction with thin fishing line, to hang my pictures on my dorm room wall this coming year. I also want to find Turkey Hill's Chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream. It is delicious and I haven't been able to find it in a very long time.

Tonight and in the coming weeks I hope to publish more blog posts from my time in Spain. I took notes on what I wanted to write about. Now I just have to try to remember the dates all of these events took place. Check the January 2007 tab for these posts.

A Long Friday

I'm so thankful it is Friday. Hopefully I'll be able to accomplish something this weekend.

I want to clean all 6 of my fishtanks. I've been home more than a month and have yet to clean them. Fortunately the large amount of algae in them is giving off so much oxygen that the ammonia levels have yet to rise; in fact they are non-existent. I will feel accomplished if I can get this done tomorrow.

Today work crawled by. The morning went by relatively quickly and I was thankful for that, but the afternoon seemed to last forever. I thought 5 o'clock would never happen and I'd be trapped at work forever.

Today I saw my dad again because he came into the Clerk's Office in order to obtain a concealed weapons permit. It was weird and I was both nervous and anxious at the same time. I was glad to see him though. I don't want him to think that I hate him or have completely blocked him out of my life forever. He has to come back sometime because he was unable to get his fingerprints done today because the officer who does them had already left for the day.

My dad looked good. He was clean-shaven and his blue collar clothes were clean. He looked young as well. I think it'd be difficult for someone to guess that he's a recovering alcoholic (I hope), a smoker, and a diabetic.

My iPod is working again, which pleases me to no end as I don't have the money this week to buy a new one. The iPod said it was corrupted and wouldn't properly restore last week. I got extremely frustrated trying to go through all the steps in order to fix it. So tonight I decided I wanted to open it up to see all the components inside. I had difficulty doing this with a screwdriver and in frustration banged the screwdriver up against the sides of the iPod. To my surprise the iPod booted up properly. This prompted me to try once again to download all of my 3,057 songs back to the device. So far it is working splendidly well. At the current moment 2,500 songs have successfully been put on my iPod. I hope it continues to download and will work properly until I have the money to buy a new 5th generation video iPod.

A Pleasant Day

Today went quite well, and I was pleasantly surprised by that.

My meeting with the professor went better than expected. He understood my point of view and said that I should be able to take an alternative class in order to fulfill that requirement for my major. I e-mailed the Economics professor who will help me find an alternative and hope to hear back from him tomorrow. After I hear back from him, I have to let the professors coordinating the trip know that I will no longer be traveling. I hope they aren't upset with me for waiting to tell them, but I had to talk with many people in order to make this decision and find an alternative.

My group's presentation on serial killer groupies went quite well. I wasn't as nervous as I usually am giving this presentation and I think it may be because I was in a group. The professor really liked our topic and said it was "ground-breaking." She wants to do a more in-depth research project on the subject and asked us if we wanted to work on it next spring. If I think I can handle doing that in addition to a senior seminar, I may just do it. Since my G.P.A. isn't the best, this could look really good to grad schools.

Tonight I apologized to a former friend for the argument we had two years ago. I told her that at that time I had depression and that was causing my behavior to be what it was. Amanda was quite understanding and we talked for a while. I think we both feel better now..

A Crazy Day with an Even Crazier Tomorrow

Today went quite well.

I gave Dr. S, my counselor here at R-MC, a letter of appreciation and an 11in. x 14in. print of my profile picture on this blog (the purple flower). The following is my letter to her:

Dr. S,
I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for everything that you’ve done in order to help me. Without your understanding and assistance, I would not be where I am today. It is difficult to know where I would be without your intervention, but I know I’d probably be in a worse place than that which I am in now. I know that the medication has helped in some respects, and I would not be on it if you hadn’t sent me home, even though I was against doing so. Without the help that I have received, both from you and medication, I think I would have committed suicide many months ago.

When I told you that I looked forward to my appointments with you, I meant it. Tuesdays have become my favorite day of the week, only because I get to see you. You are very easy to talk to and I feel like I can tell you things that I cannot tell other people.

I apologize for the times when I have been difficult and uncooperative; you deserved better. I know that I’m not the easiest person to deal with, so your patience with me has been wonderful.

In writing this, I wanted you to know that you are appreciated and you have heavily impacted my life for the better.

With Much Appreciation,

Emily

She said that she really appreciated the letter and she loved the picture; she thought it was beautiful, although she said she couldn't hang it in her office because my name was on it and it would be a violation of privacy. She said that she will think about where to put it. Dr. S also told me that she's enjoyed working with me this past year. I laughed, because I know I've not been the easiest person to deal with. She said that she liked to see people get better and improve and she thought that I had done just that. I think I'm going to cry next Tuesday when I meet with her for the last time this semester. I'll miss talking with her over the summer.

My group is still working on our project about serial killer groupies. I feel as if we haven't done a lot of research and we've just thrown it together. I don't think it is going to be that great, and I'm quite nervous about presenting in front of the class tomorrow. I'm going to try to purposely lose my voice in order to try to weasel my way out of talking. After the presentation tomorrow, our group has to present at Research Day on Friday. I'm so scared of presenting in front of a large group. I'm terrified that I'm going to have a panic attack and pass out.

I also have to meet with the head of the International Studies Department tomorrow. He is really intimidating. I have to discuss me not going on a January-Term travel course next year that I need to graduate. I'm terrified that my negative experiences in Spain, even though they were few, will be repeated. If that should happen, I'll be sent home from school indefinitely and I'll not graduate from this college.

I hope, and pray, that tomorrow will go well.

An Overall Okay Day

Today has been an overall okay day.

My first class, Eastern World Religions, was really boring. We are learning about the life and teachings of Jesus Christ, which I have heard about a hundred times before. I was attempting to study for the Macroeconomics quiz I was to take in my next class in order to pass the time. I felt guilty for doing so, because I know the professor (the Chaplain) knew what I was doing. I made it through the class and proceeded to Macroeconomics.

When I got there, a different professor was in the room. She informed us that our professor would not be in class today, and therefore class was canceled. To my surprise, she then told us that there would be no class on Thursday. Apparently the professor's father passed away, leading to his week-long absence. This made me quite happy, as I would only have to endure one class today and Thursday.

Early this afternoon I had my weekly appointment at the counseling center with Dr. S. Today went quite well. It lasted longer than usual, which I think means she enjoyed the conversation we were having, and appreciated my honesty. I think my depression has lifted significantly. I feel like an entirely different person almost, even though I'm still quiet and reserved in public and in class. I don't know who I am anymore; I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

At work I spent two and a half hours surfing the net instead of doing what I was supposed to be doing. The task I was to be working on is mind-numbing, and boring. I hope that my boss doesn't find out that I lied. Then she would never trust me again.

Tonight I'm supposed to go on a walk with some of my friends to enjoy the nice spring weather. I think I might ride my bike while they walk. I need to get some use out of it; after all I did buy a bicycle rack and drove it two and a half hours, and thus far it has been collecting dust.

It looks like I won't have a heavy homework load until Thursday night when I have to write a paper due on Friday. Hopefully I can do some fun things in the free evenings I have.