A Disappointing Day

Today began with me being late to work, again. According to the clock on the wall at work, it was straight-up 9:00 a.m., which would mean I was on time for once. However, the mood of the other employees made me feel as if I was late, even though someone else arrived after me. I HATE being late anytime, but being late to work kills me. I'm extremely frustrated and disgusted because no matter how early I wake up, and no matter how organized I am the night before, I'm always late. Sometimes I just lose track of time when I'm getting ready in the bathroom, other times traffic is horrible and I just seem to get stopped at every red light in the city. My boss has never said anything to me about my tardiness; she doesn't have to, as her looks and attitude toward me speak volumes. I have two more days of working in the Circuit Court Clerk's Office this break, and I want nothing more than to be EARLY, not on time, but EARLY.

After working all day and being exhausted because I only got three hours of sleep last night, my mom and I drove to Dulles to go shopping for some clothes for me to wear in Spain. We went to my favorite store: Gap. I love Gap clothes. They are classic, well-made, and beautiful. It is the only store where I can find pants that fit me perfectly. Well tonight they had a huge after-Christmas sale, and I mean HUGE. They were selling $60 jeans for $10-$20, and nearly everything else was discounted.

I was extremely disappointed. Out of the 10 pairs of pants and 2 shirts I tried on, only 2 pairs of pants fit, and they were too long, and therefore need to be hemmed before next Wednesday. I have gained more weight. I don't know how or why, but I have. I MUST lose weight; approximately 50 pounds if I want to be at least satisfied with my figure. I HATE EVERYTHING about myself right now. I hate all of my physical features except for my blue eyes, and naturally curly and blonde hair. Additionally, I hate my personality and my emotions, and some of my impulsive actions. This negative self image does nothing to help me out of this fog of depression. I think that if I was beautiful and skinny, and therefore happy with myself, all of my problems would be solved: I'd be more outgoing and positive, I wouldn't be terrified of public speaking, I'd have more friends and a boyfriend, etc. If I become a size larger I'll either become anorexic/bulimic or I'll kill myself; there is no way I could ever accept my body at that size.

Finally, tonight while I was checking my bank account to see if my Christmas money had gone into savings, I learned I was $42.00 overdraft, that is with the outrageous $34.oo overdraft fee. I was freaking $8.00 over and get slapped with a $34.oo fee; ugh.... I digress. I think I'll have very little spending money for Spain, which is exactly the circumstance I didn't want to be in. It is going to really suck having to worry about every penny I spend over there; especially when I should be concerned with doing well in the class I'm taking and with having a tremendous amount of fun.

I also learned tonight that I'll have to buy a plug adapter and possibly a power converter to allow all of my electronics to work over there. That's fine, because I was already expecting to purchase these items. But on top of that, it appears that I'll have to buy a new power cord for my laptop that will accommodate the 220 volts used in Europe, but Dell doesn't sell those on its website (WTF?). I HAVE to have my laptop over there, or I will be declared mentally insane. I hate to feel as if I'm disconnected from the few friends I have. It is also necessary for me to have it in order to be able to download all of the pictures I take in Spain.

What to do, what to do...?

Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Trip to Washington, D.C.

This past Monday (April 18) I went on a field trip organized by the Political Science Students Association to Washington, D.C. We visited the Supreme Court and the Pentagon, which were both very interesting places.

I fell asleep on the bus on the way to D.C. because I woke up at 5:30 a.m. We got there around 9:30 a.m., which is pretty good considering we were travelling in rush-hour traffic.

Our first stop was the United States Supreme Court. There were two separate lines: one to go and sit for 3 minutes and another line to sit for the whole hearing which was an hour. Marisa, my friend from Ecuador, and I decided to go in the three minute line.

One of the security guards looked exactly like Mike Tyson, only without the tattoo. After passing through all the security checkpoints, we finally made it inside.

It was very polished and ornate. The ceiling was wonderfully detailed in what seemed like plaster reliefs shaped like flowers. It was more intimate than I thought it would be. There were no balconies for viewing the proceedings; everyone was on the same floor. The justices were up on a slight platform, and I'm grateful for that, because those viewing the proceedings for three minutes were seated in the back. Those viewing the entire hour-long proceeding were seated in church-like pews. The lawyer arguing before the Court looked very unprepared and idiotic. He argued that the Court said one thing and Justice Scalia told him something like, "Actually, I believe we said the opposite." It was really interesting, but I really wouldn't have wanted to remain there for the entire hour.

After leaving the Supreme Court, eleven of us, including a professor, went to Tortilla Coast and had a delicious meal, as well as interesting and thought-provoking conversation. After that, we went to the Capitol to meet the rest of the students. While waiting, we took in the spectacular views of the mall and the rotunda of the Capitol.

Our next stop was the Pentagon. After passing through the numerous security checkpoints we were led to a room where we met our tour guides, all four of them. The Pentagon wasn't like I thought it would be. They have what looks like a mall inside and I would have thought I was in a mall if I had not have known for sure I was in the Pentagon. We got to visit the inside courtyard and were told interesting facts. We also visited the exact place where the Pentagon was hit by the hijacked plane on September 11, 2001. Our guides explained to us exactly how it was hit, and corrected the false information we had heard before.

All in all, it was an enjoyable day.

I would have posted pictures, but we were told not to bring any cameras.