The Beginning of Another Year

I arrived at school yesterday to begin my junior year of college. I think I brought almost everything I own with me, and I'm not quite sure how I'm going to fit all of it in my cozy (a.k.a. small) single room.

Tonight I had a wonderful dinner with some of my friends, but knew that as soon as dinner was over I'd go back to my dorm room and it would be in the same cluttered and messy condition as when I left it.

I like things to be neat and organized, so I know exactly where everything is. I like for my room to be tidy and well-kept, as this curtails one cause of stress in my life. When my room is messy, I can't find anything. This causes me to panic, especially when I am running late.

After looking at the room and realizing how long it would take me to get everything unpacked and organized, I became overwhelmed. I got online and began talking to one of my friends who knows the state of my mental health. It didn't take long for the conversation to begin to take a dark and negative tone. I let my feelings of hopelessness and frustration dictate what I wrote. My friend kept telling me to just vent and let it all out, and I repeatedly gave negative responses to her questions and comments. She said that was fine with her, but then she suddenly signed off of AIM. I think that was her way of telling me she was tired of hearing about all of my issues and problems and especially me being negative. When she signed back on a few minutes later, she didn't even acknowledge me. I guess she didn't mean what she said earlier about being "more than happy to listen."

I think I really get on people's nerves. I think after people have dealt with my emotional issues for so long, I just need to disappear from their lives in order to free them from the burden I place on them. I care about them so much that I feel that separating myself from them forever, or at least until I get my emotions in check, which could be forever, is the best thing for them.

My Dorm Room Sophomore Year

This is a picture of my corner of my dorm room.

The artwork on the wall behind my bed was all done by me, and I took all of the pictures to the left.

If you couldn't tell from my bedding, my favorite colors are those at the cooler end of the color spectrum.

My dorm is really nice; quite a lot better than last year. My room is huge and the wall is drywall painted a nice beige. Last year my room was quite small and the walls were cinder block painted psychiatric ward white.

This year my dorm has community bathrooms which I actually prefer over the suite-style bathrooms I had last year. With community bathrooms I can wake up at 3 a.m. to take a shower without waking anyone up.

My building, Thomas Branch, was just recently renovated and is the only residential building on campus with an elevator.

Needless to say, I am very pleased with my accommodations this year.

Honors Banquet

This evening I attended a banquet held for all of the students who are in the Honors Program at the college.

I wasn't really sure that I wanted to attend. One reason is that I hate getting dressed up. Another reason is that I only knew a few of the people that were going and felt that having to socialize with these strangers who wanted nothing to do with me would be a bit awkward. Nevertheless, I decided to attend.

I arrived at the reception at 6:15 p.m. There was a table with punch and fruit and cheese, looking quite nice. I didn't get any because I didn't want to ruin my appetite and there were a few groups of people right next to the table. I began to talk with people I know, and we all got bored quickly. At 6:40 p.m. we had run out of topics of conversation and resorted to standing around looking at each other uncomfortably. Then the Dean of the College came to us and began speaking with us. He left after a few minutes to socialize with other groups.

Within a few minutes we were told to go to the dining room and sit down for dinner. The people I had been talking to and I sat down at the same table, and were later, to our surprise, joined by the Dean. I'm not sure if he actually chose to sit with us. I think maybe each of the other tables already had a faculty member sitting there, so he felt obligated to sit with us.

Dinner was nice. The steak and potatoes were to my liking (which is very unusual). I ate a little of my asparagus, just so I had at least tasted everything on my plate. Dessert was okay, nothing to rave about.

Every year at the banquet two professors, Dr. B (Political Science) and Dr. R (Mathematics), provide the entertainment. To be honest, I wasn't quite sure what to expect, after all, these were faculty members and the Dean was in attendance. They had decided that we should play "Jeopardy!" and that our tables would be our teams. Our table didn't win, but we scored some points.

I felt really stupid and embarrassed at one point during the game. Normally, being the shy and introverted person I am, wouldn't have dared to raise my hand in an attempt to answer a question. But for some reason, I felt sure of an answer and raised my hand. Big mistake. I wasn't completely wrong, though, which is good, but I felt moronic nonetheless.

After playing the game, and getting our butts kicked, the senior awards were given out. After that, everyone left, and went back to preparing for Monday's classes.

Overall, the banquet was nice and entertaining, although I'm not sure if I would attended next year's.

Only time will tell.