Ended Dreams?

I have come to the realization that one possible direction I was considering taking after college is no longer an option.

I've had this crazy dream that one day I would attend law school and eventually become a judge in a juvenile and domestic relations court. At this point, that will never happen.

My current GPA is a 3.27. Last semester it was a 3.54 and I got a Phi Beta Kappa certificate. Currently, I'm no longer in the Honors Program here at school because of my GPA, and I'm terrified that I'm going to lose my scholarship and no longer be able to afford to attend here. I will never be able to raise my GPA above a 3.5 again; in order to do so I'd have to make a 4.0 every semester I have left. My low GPA and the fact that I'm not involved with anything on campus means that I will never get into any law school that is worth anything.

Realizing this hurts. Failing one history class has ruined a dream for me. I only failed that class because I slept through the final exam; I had a B average in the class. Depression and anxiety have cost me so much, and I guess they will continue to ruin my dreams and keep me from living up to my potential.

Economics Test Results; Fall and January Scheduling; Weekend Retreat

I got my results from the Microeconomics exam I took on Tuesday. I was so relieved to find out that I got an A, but just barely. I got a 91%, which was the highest grade in the class (again), and the only A. I've heard from a friend that has already taken this course that the third, and final, exam is easier than the second one, which is a relief.

Today I have to begin picking out the classes I wish to take here in the fall and in January. So far, many people have told me that the choices for classes are abysmal. I sure hope that I can find, as well as get into, classes that I really want and enjoy. I think that it will take me an eternity to pick out classes and make sure that there won't be a time conflict between them. I have to have all this done by Tuesday, because that's when I meet with my adviser and I only have 20 minutes to do so.

This weekend I am going on a retreat with the Methodist church affiliated with the college. I am pretty excited about it. From what I hear, we will be doing many fun activities. It has been a while since I have seen these people, so I look forward to spending time with them again. I think we are going west to the mountains. Hopefully it will remind me of home; there are no hills or mountains in Ashland.

Another Microeconomics Exam

Well today I had another Microeconomics exam worth 30% of my final grade. At first I found it very difficult to concentrate on the exam and thought I was going to fail because I was so nervous and anxious. After awhile I could finally concentrate and began to answer the questions quickly and concisely. I wasn't as prepared for this one, and it was more difficult. I know I didn't do as well as I did last time (I got a 99%), but I hope I still get an A.

Trying My Hardest; Nice Exam Grade; Photography Job

I have been trying my best to get all of my homework done on time or ahead of schedule. Some days I have been able to do this, but other days I haven't. I'm still feeling really stressed about the amount of work I have to do. I keep trying just to take them one at a time and check them off the list, but some of the projects require a lot of time and effort, so I need to begin them now.

On Monday I have an ethnographic book review to finish. I think the hardest part of that will be analyzing the research methods used by the ethnographer. I can't wait to get it done so I won't have to worry about it anymore.

On Tuesday I got my first Microeconomics exam back. I received a 99%, the highest grade in the class. I am extremely happy about that because each of the three exams I have in that class is worth 30% of my final grade.

I am extremely nervous about tonight. My boss called me a few hours ago to ask if I would be interested in doing some work tonight. I really don't feel like I can say no because I have nothing better to do. Besides, I would be paid for it. I have to go to a reception with a "small crowd" and take some pictures of a man receiving an honorary degree from the college. Chances are I won't know anyone there, and I'll feel nervous taking pictures of a distinguished man I have just met. I never take pictures of people, especially really important people. I am so worried that I am going to screw up, and have no clue what I am doing.

I'll let you know how it goes later.